Day Drunk Gamers

Baldur's Gate 3

9/10

[Roll for initiative], and it's a 1, because you're about to get your shit pushed in by Baldur's Gate 3, also to be referred to as "Finally A Good Fucking RPG In 2023". Though coming from Larian Studios, it should be no surprise that it's a good fucking RPG, as they are the makers of the outstanding Divinity Original Sin I and II, both very good and with II, dare I say fan-fucking-tastic? In a sea of complete mediocrity, and every game with a price tag claiming to have RPG elements that often boil down to stat increases to coincide with the normal difficulty curve of the game, comes an actual RPG, inspired by DND that lives up to the "I cast fireball" spirit. A game that allows me to drunkenly wonder, "I could probably fit through that window," and the next second be jumping through the window, only to find out that unsurprisingly, that was a very bad idea, and now half my party is downed. Which brings up the question, "Is this choice a good idea?" I can assure you that when inebriated, the principle" let's fuck around and find out" will tell you yes, and in true DND spirit, the game will rebuttal, "Maybe, do it pussy."

Now, I might be biased as someone who fucking loves Fallout 1 and 2 (and the Divinity: Original Sin games, Pillars, etc.). It can also be noted that I have no nostalgia filter, as I played them both after 3 and New Vegas, which made me both absolutely love New Vegas and frown upon 3 even more. All to say that I love RPGs; I love games that give me actual agency as the player and more importantly, actual consequences to my actions, and not knowing the consequences of my actions. Like the first time you played the Suicide Mission in Mass Effect 2 and didn't look anything up and felt the true heartbreak of having companions actually fucking die because you made the wrong choices. Here's a game that embodies that feeling and makes you quicksave constantly, not just because you want to save scum, but because "Are you fucking serious Asterion, why the fuck did you choose to go into the Eagle's Nest as we're trying to just walk by, for fuck's sake, do I need to manually control you, or can you get it together, fuck."

In a stroke of good writing that has been lacking in so many games in this era of crap, it manages to actively captivate in a way all good RPGs should. Characters, all with their own thoughts and views, are not simply satisfied to jerk you off constantly on how great you are as the player, though a good amount of them do still want to jump your bones. Accentuated by a story that utilizes those differences of perspective and is filled with difficult choices. Such as, who to bone and whom not to bone? Should I let these parasites feast on my brain? With additional questions like, how does the egg thing work if you guys have vaginas, and whose fucking inventory had that piece of paper I wanted to read?

All that is to say is that if you enjoy games such as Divinity: Original Sin or the Pillars of Eternity games, then you will very much enjoy this one too. It is good to see Isometric RPGs and the depth that this game achieves getting more mainstream appeal, in the hopes that the industry stops just giving us watered down shallow crap. While a farfetched dream, that one can only hope the industry takes notice, this game remains a showcase of what right can happen when the priorities for your game are correct.